I do not think that there can ever be enough books about anything and I say that knowing that some of them are going to be about Pilates.The more knowledge the better seems like a solid rule of thumb, even though I have watched enough science fiction films to accept that humanity’s unchecked pursuit of learning will end with robots taking over the world.-Sarah Vowell

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Out and Darth Maul's Mission and The Padawan's Menace

In honor of May the Force Be With You Day I am reviewing three absolutely delightful and hilarious kid's books. They are worth far more than the few dollars they sell for. I laugh my rear off every time I read them. And here is why.

Darth Maul's Mission is basically a telling of The Phantom Menace, but much better (and the whole planet Naboo thing is left out, which means no Jar Jar). When Darth Maul goes to Tatooine he sends out tracker droids (who have deerskin caps on) who are are being chased down by Jawas (Utini!), of course! And it just gets funnier as it goes on (There's a Darth Maul Party Town with a limbo using a lightsaber, naturally).

In The Padawan Menace, Yoda, C-3PO, and R2D2 are taking some padawans on a tour of the galactic Senate, when Yoda senses a disturbance in the force, leaving the two droids in charge of the padawans. As Yoda says "Tired of being right every time, I am." when he meets up with a young Ventress. No one notices that a kid has joined the group of padawans. C-3PO and R2D2 get the padawans on a bus, which crash lands on Tatoonie, while the mysterious kid ("I've got a bad feeling about this."), with Cody and Yoda  go to Hoth to chase a battle droid that has plans on it.

The Empire Strikes Out will have you howling with laughter over one particular sequence of lines. This one completely mixes up the movies, which is actually rather fun. Darth Vader has just sent off probe droids to hunt down Skywalker ("Not THIS Skywalker"). Naboo is in this one, as is Darth Maul, who lived somehow and cannot get along with Vader. Luke can't get his mission done, Chewie and C-3PO are flying the Millennium Falcon and Vader crash lands on Tatooine. Then Han fires at a stormtrooper, leaving C-3PO shocked. "'Oh, my stars,' he cried. 'Han shot first!' 'Of course I did, it was me or him,' explained Han. 'Why wouldn't I shoot first?' 'That is a subject of some debate.' admitted C-3PO'" And believe it or not, it ends with a real bang of hilarity.

So, go spend a few bucks, or check your local library for them. And have a great day enjoying Star Wars!

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