In this latest collection of searing and oftentimes funny twenty-eight essays, Sedaris captures everyday life in the simplest yet most hammering-the-nail-on-the-head way. For example, he sees a hotel owner demand that a patron remove his feet from the table in front of him. Sedaris wishes that action could be taken elsewhere, like on trains, when a patron is playing music too loudly; shoot him in the face if he doesn't comply. This, from a man who opposes the death penalty, but apparently only in certain situations. In another essay, Sedaris's friend has a ChatGPT write a story based on Sedaris's work. What comes out is a tale of Uncle Melvin who gets stuck in a bathroom. Sedaris thinks this essay is nothing like what he would write, so he writes his own version of that story the way he would have actually written it.
He also writes about topics like traveling to different places and dealing with dumb questions, going to a new country for only one night to check it off his list, or going on a safari with Hugh in Africa. He writes about his relationships with his husband (he prefers to call him his boyfriend), his sisters and brother, and close old friends. These vignettes really touch home with his readers, and you'll find yourself nodding along in agreement with the quirks of fate that make you smile and laugh out loud. This is David Sedaris at his best.
Quotes
Hugh became a nonstop grouse. Ghosts in movies moan less than he did.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 4)
You donate money to charity, and they spend it all trying to get you to donate more.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 36)
She was so close I could see the craziness in her eyes, could see how completely unpredictable she was, the sort who could either shake your hand or slash your face with a razor blade.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 47)
Also, I wasn't bothered by the pope's use of faggotry because I'm not queer; I'm gay. The difference is that queer people are offended by just about everything. They have the rest of us walking on potato chips, afraid we're using the wrong pronoun or saying "motherfucker" instead of "mothering person fucker." Gay people just wonder what they'll wear to the Vatican at the crack of dawn and what the proper etiquette is.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 86)
Who are these hothouse flowers, all so easily and constantly wounded? People whose parents never hit them, that's who. People who don't know what real pain is but still wants to throw the word around.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 98)
A child needs brothers and sisters; the more the better. Good siblings will press your favorite doll's face into a red-hot barbecue, then steal the money the tooth fairy left under your pillow. They'll deposit things inside of you when you're four, then sleep with your boyfriend twelve years later--will, in short, prepare you to live in the real world. Better still, they'll dilute the Eye of Sauron-like attention given to an only child. My mother couldn't remember our names half the time, much less care whether we felt anxious or depressed.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 99)
One of [Jean] Stafford's book ideas--never realized--was Cooking For One While Drunk.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 110)
Being a cool mom is like being a folk artist---defining yourself as one is all the proof the world needs that you're a fraud.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, 113)
When we were fourteen, for example, we had to find volunteer jobs. Mine was at Dorthea Dix, the state psychiatric hospital...I was regularly threatened by patients. I was cornered and shouted at, accused of everything you can imagine. It was excellent training for my later life in New York City.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 117)
Duolingo was seemingly designed for people with an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The same could be said for my fitness-tracking Apple Watch. And so I had combined the two and was walking my minimum of ten miles per day while pointlessly reading sentences out loud in Japanese, German, Spanish, and French.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 147)
I'm in the hard part of getting old--the part where everything irritates you. The easy part comes a little later, when my short-term memory disappears, and I forget I've heard "perfect" two hundred already that day. Each occasion will be the first. Then I'll die and go to Heaven, where Saint Peter will say, "Welcome in! How were your travels?" and I'll realize I'm actually in Hell.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 218)
I've often spent an afternoon with my friend Ronnie, then come home and wonder the same thing: what did she and I talk about? When it's effortless, you don't really think about it. At the end of the day, you're left with a feeling — of contentment or comfort — but rarely any specifics.
David Sedaris (The Land and Its People, p 245)
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