This book snares you with the first page, when Lalla Rook is standing over the body of a man she has just killed with a vegetable knife. He had snuck into the house when the French nanny, Aimee, doesn’t close the door all the way. He sneaks up on her and tries to strangle her while she is chopping carrots.
Lalla is a sociopath who came from a poor, bad family, where her father killed her mother, then himself. She lived in the streets until she meets a man, Hollis, who takes her away from all that. They marry, but Lalla gets sick of him and shoves him off a mountain in the Alps.
Lalla reinvents herself and breaks up an engagement between Stephen and Debbie in order to marry Stephen herself. It’s not just the money; she cares for him in her own little way. They have a daughter, Nelly, who is six and also a sociopath. Her school is constantly telling Lalla about her escapades like drowning the class hamster. They also have a son Nelson, who is three. It’s his birthday party that Lolla is working on when she kills the stranger.
Instead of calling the police she moves the body where no one will stumble across it until she can decide what to do with it. Unfortunately, her friend Cait, goes into the kitchen and finds a bloody mess. Lalla ropes Cait into it by getting her fingerprints on the knife and her DNA on the body. That’s how she keeps Cait from calling the police.
Lalla has a plan for life: help Stephen make partner, get Nelly into Adam’s, a ritzy elementary school, move to Hampstead, and be the perfect wife and mother. Stephen keeps thwarting her plans since he doesn’t think they can afford to live in that kind of neighborhood and he has no interest in making partner. He’s also still down because of his father’s death and is being manipulated by his mother, who hates Lalla.
Will Lalla ever be able to get rid of the body and be free of the detectives hounding her about a missing man who they say has been following her? Will her plan come through? Lalla’s whole world is starting to fall apart and it’s interesting how she manages it. I found this book funny and absolutely fantastic. This is the author’s first book and he knocks it out of the ballpark. I can’t wait to see what he writes next. I cannot recommend this book enough.
Quotes
I’ve not called the police because it was I who stabbed him seven times in all, which no doubt the authorities will call overkill. The truth is, it’s surprisingly difficult to kill someone with a vegetable knife.
M K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage p3)
Sophie kissing my cheek; I smell eau-de-motherhood—coffee, crayons, wet wipes, and white wine.
M K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage, p. 7)
Sexual
innuendo is an easy win in social situations. Less so in a job
interview, as I once found out.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,13)
Perfection
isn't a mask, it's full-body armor.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage,
p. 28)
We're
women Cait, the law doesn't work for us.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P, 32)
Without
the distraction of romance, married love is simply a rational
business choice based on intellectual compatibility, economic benefits, housing, prospects, propagation of the species and
reasonably reliable sexual gratification (current period excluded).
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,42)
There's
only so much adrenaline one can squeeze out of not following washing
machine instructions.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P45)
It
has only just occurred to me that I married a man who would look at a
Titian and ask how much it costs to insure.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,51)
A
successful marriage is about many things, not least knowing when to
give your husband the impression that he has won.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,52)
A
man who can't excite my mind isn't going to satisfy my body.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,64)
A
successful marriage is a joy solely for the happy couple; a failing
marriage, however, is a pleasure for all to enjoy.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,119)
It's
not the reality that kills you; it's the lack of it.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,153)
I
sometimes wonder if the best real estate agents have sociopathic
qualities.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,159)
The
past should be on the “do not travel” list. It is full of
unresolved conflicts and liable to flare-ups.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,167)
It's
your story. You decide which character to play, so you don't have to
choose the victim; you can choose the hero.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,179)
One
violent man can do a lot of damage, but one strong woman can do a
great deal more.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,190)
I
have en enormous respect for a dog's ability to manipulate its owner
and live a life of luxury with minimum contribution.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,198)
Love
doesn't mean thrilling each other every day, Stephen. Love means
committing a future together, forming a shield against the world.
Love is a plan, not a feeling.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,285)
It's
the past. It calls to us all. Feels like it might offer certainty when the present doesn't. It's best not to listen. The past lies
something terrible.
M
K Oliver (A Sociopath's Guide to a Successful Marriage
P,357)
