This sassy, supernatural comic thriller features vampires, zombies, and a necromancer. Toni is a powerful necromancer who has to raise the dead for a short while or deal with being antsy. She is also an estate agent in Staffordshire, England, who is looking for a place for a vampire, Oscar, to live. In Europe, being a vampire is legal. In other places, like America, it's more of a stake-on-sight. The English vampire Assemblage has a huge problem with a Chicago mob Assemblage that has moved in on their territory and plans to take it over. Oscar is a member of the English vampire Assemblage and has Peter, a German doctor, in his coterie, who hates living at the Assemblage. Toni and Oscar fall in love, but they have to overlook faults, like his desire to drink her blood (Yuck!). There's also the matter of the head vampire of England wanting Toni to pledge fealty to him in exchange for protection from the other vampires, and the EDL, an anti-vampire faction that wants to kill all vampires and those associated with them.
There is also the matter of the Jane Doe in the morgue that Toni's brother, Wills, keeps asking Toni to try to raise her so they can find out her name and who murdered her. Toni has little luck in this task since she needs a name to raise a corpse or control vampires. The vampires supposedly wiped out all the necromancers, and Toni must keep the fact that she can control the dead and undead a secret or risk being killed by the vampires. Toni is a snappy, sarcastic woman who refuses to put up with any gruffness. She is a strong character who can mostly take care of herself. Oscar is an inscrutable vampire with old-fashioned values about male-female relationships and doesn't tell Toni anything about himself or what life is like as a vampire. Peter is forced to fill her in. The pages fly in this fast-paced novel that will keep you entertained to the very last page. This is the first of three books, and I can't wait to read more.
Quotes
God blessed me with pale English skin that burns under light candlelight and tangerine-coloured hair that tangles when you are asleep. And when you are awake. And probably when you are dead.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.21)
I noticed what beautiful cursive handwriting he had. My own looks like a mating ritual of the rare Amazon ink dancing spider.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.27)
"Have you got her?" he called...in an English voice. A Birmingham voice to be exact. I wasn't going to die at the hands of an escaped zombie or a blood-eating vampire. I wasn't even going to be shunted off this mortal coil by a ninja or a Chicago hitman. I was going to meet my maker at the hands of some thug from Shirley. Thank you, posterity. You suck.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.37)
We really needed to get to first names soon. Still, we were both English and it had only ben five years.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.49)
Next time there was a work party, I was going to lock the door, take the phone off the hook, and watch all three Lord of the Rings movies with a kebab, an entire tub of ice cream and a bottle of vodka. If there was any evening left, I would start on The Hobbit.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.67)
-Hello, Tori. How's your decapitated corpse doing:
-It's finished bleeding on me and now it's just oozing onto my lawn.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.70-1)
Croquet is a game with two teams, six hoops, eight mallets, and too many rules. The worst rule is that you are not allowed to use the mallets to club the opposition to death.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.85)
Toni, I grew up in Germany, remember? There we think sausages are vegetables.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.89)
I wasn't so much unlucky in love as damn well cursed.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.99)
My idea of tidying up and feng shui was to line up all the piles of rubbish in a visually pleasing manner.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.142)
Don't listen to your heart. It's a liar and deceiver and brings nothing but grief.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.189)
When you seek through the world for love, you should first look for friendship and kindness. Without these, I think there is a great risk of the heart making bad choices for the head.
Alice James (Grave Secrets, p.279)
