Redheaded Reviews: Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

Monday, June 26, 2017

Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

They never meant for things to go as far as they did. Narrated by a teen girl whose real name you never get to know (she changes them as she introduces herself to others as characters from 80s movies such as Diane Court from Say Anything) this book starts off with a group of four teen girls who have kidnapped the least liked of the most popular boy band in the world, The Ruperts. The Ruperts were formed when they all appeared as contestants on the show So You Think the British Don't Have Talent? One of the judges noticed all the Ruperts signs in the audience and thought the four of them should form a band together to finish out the competition. So Rupert Lemon (who did an opera jazz song), Rupert Kirke (who did something on an acoustic guitar), Rupert Xavier (who combined singing with modeling), and Rupert Pierpont (the juggler) all got together and formed The Ruperts and won the contest and were an overnight success.

What got the girls in the mess they are in now is that The Ruperts decided to do a show called The Ruperts Learn About Thanksgiving! in New York City where the four girls, Erin, the gorgeous boss (who likes Rupert L.), Isobel the commanding crazy one with the all the info on the band and a website dedicated to them (who likes Rupert X) , and Apple (who likes Rupert P), who is overweight and whose parents have a lot of money, live. Diane likes Rupert K. The girls desperately want tickets to the show. Apple's maid gets them a room since they aren't adults and can't get it for themselves, at the hotel the boys are staying at. When Apple goes out to get ice she spots Rupert P and she tackles him and brings him back to the room. They immediately tie him up with stockings and blindfold him.

Diane wants to do the right thing and untie Rupert P and let him go before they get into the kind of trouble that leads to jail. But will she be able to beat the peer pressure beating down on her by her friends who are growing crazier by the second and taking her with them down a demented path that will go where you least expect it to? This book explores the idea of boy bands and the good and evil that they inspire in their followers in a darkly humorous way. I really loved this book and its originality and crazy ideas. I highly recommend reading it.

Quotes

I was holding someone captive and all that was going through my mind was a Billboard Top 40 love song. I was going to hell.

-Goldy Moldavsky (Kill the Boy Band p 11)

Happiness isn’t always easy, but it’s a priority.

-Goldy Moldavsky (Kill the Boy Band p 21)

Because the truth is, it isn’t worth loving something if you aren’t going to love it all the way.

-Goldy Moldavsky (Kill the Boy Band p 32)

The joy you find as a teen, however frivolous and dumb, is pure, and meaningful. It doesn’t matter that it might ferment and taste different when you’re older. That’s the whole point of being a teenager—not worrying about the future.

-Goldy Moldvsky (Kill the Boy Band p 63)

Carrie Underwood, take the wheel—I was not okay.

-Goldy Moldvsky (Kill the Boy Band p 121)

Erin says girls apologize too much. We say “I’m sorry” almost as much as we say “Hello.”

-Goldy Moldvsky (Kill the Boy Band p 128)