Cecilia is the perfect Victorian young woman who yearns to become a member of the Wisteria Society of Lady Scondrels. This is a group of women pirates who sail their houses in the air, thieve, pickpocket, blackmail, try to assassinate one another, and fight for women's rights. The book is set in England in the late 1800s. Cecilia lives with her smothering aunt, Miss Darlington, since her mother, Cilla, was killed by Cecilia's father, Captain Morvath, an evil pirate who wants to see all women subjugated to men and to take over England from Queen Victoria. He also writes awful poetry and believes he is the descendant of Bramwell Bronte, the useless (in his mind, the genius author) brother of the Bronte Sisters. He has hired Ned Lightbourne to kidnap his daughter and bring her to him so he can marry her off to her vapid cousin and have a grand estate to fly.
Ned Lightbourne, as Eduardo Luca, was hired by Lady Armitage to assassinate Cecelia, to break her aunt's heart and hurt her before killing Miss Darlington. Ned appears at Miss Darlington's door to warn Cecilia of the dastardly plan. Cecilia shuts the door on him, and he is forced to blow up a window to try to gain entry. Miss Darlington sets the house to sail to Bath, which begins Cecilia's quest to find a library to steal books from. She is caught up reading Wuthering Heights in secret, as her aunt would kill her if caught. Several people in this novel quote poetry of the time from luminaries such as Longfellow, Wordsworth, and Byron. Also, Captain Morvath's house is named Northangerland Abbey, from Jane Austen's book Northanger Abbey. There are also many references to the Brontë sisters' books.
When the Wisteria Ladies get together to discuss Morvath, their houses are stolen, and they are kidnapped by Morvath. Ned and Cecilia set out to rescue them from Northangerland Abbey. Ned reveals that he is secretly working for the Queen, who wants Cecilia killed because she may turn out to be like her father. Ned, by the way, has as many names as Cary Grant's character in Hitchcock's movie, Charade. But Ned finds himself falling for the redhead, and maybe Cecilia is falling for him too, but she believes that her place is by her elderly aunt's side. Will the two work things out? Will Morvath kill the Wisteria Ladies and take over the world? This novel was quite entertaining and charming. It is the first book in a trilogy that I cannot wait to read. The writing is so incredible that I wanted to add the whole novel to my quotation collection. I had to stop myself from writing everything down. I loved Cecilia, who carries an emergency book with her always for those times when nothing is going on, like when the other person is reloading their gun. I flew through this delightful book and highly recommend it.
Quotes
"What would I have done, had he broken in?"
"Shot him?"
"Good heavens, child, what do you take me for, a maniac? Think of the damage a ricocheting bullet would do in this room."
"Stabbed him, then?"
"And get blood over the rug? It's a sixteenth-century Persian antique, you know, part of a royal collection."
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p 4)
Murdering three husbands (and misplacing a fourth) tended to inure a woman to masculine charms.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 12)
They had swindled lords together, got drunk together more times than either could remember, and once they forced Alex's remshackle house to its limits, making the London-Cashel run in less than twelve hours, although they did lose a few windowpanes along the way.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 19)
It was a soft voice, typical of those who long had spoken with great power; a voice that could whisper death in a tower room and far below a man would be strangled among the garden roses.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 21)
We have only three laws in our Society, Cecilia. No killing civilians. Pour the tea before the milk. And no stealing each other's houses. Anyone breaking these laws is cast out--literally, and in most cases from a very significant height.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 42)
It is violence that best overcomes hate, that most certainly heals injury, and a good cup of tea that soothes the most anguished soul; thus ran the motto of the Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 54)
Navy. Well, that's about as useless as a feather in a sword fight.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 67)
Yes, I've been meaning to be in touch ever since you framed me for the Marlborough House robbery twelve years ago. But you know how it is, busy, busy. I've quite lost count of all my heists and husbands.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 52)
Mrs. Rotunder had recently failed in an attempt to have Miss Darlington assassinated by means of a trained parrot, unaware of Miss Darlington's belief that parrots carried syphilis and were therefore to be scrupulously avoided. This had been in retaliation for Miss Darlington's theft of Mr. Rotunder's leg, which was said to be inlaid with wood from the True Cross, and yet only fetched five hundred pounds on the Catholic black market. Mr. Rotunder--a thin, anemic gentleman who hadn't been quite right since a mad doctor sawed off two of his limbs before rescue arrived--had been willing to let the matter go, but his wife would have none of that. When the assassination attempt failed, she took solace in stealing Miss Darlington's favorite mahogany cabinet, from which a new leg was made for Mr. Rotunder, and thereafter all was well again between the ladies.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels,p, 56)
After all, the Wisteria Ladies Junior Division's motto was: Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do, and hopefully the other person dies.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 66)
Morvath stood in the Dole foyer, dressed in black like a vampire or an opera singer.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 69)
"En garde!" she cried, much to the horror of Miss Darlington's sensibilities--"A lady shall not use French on the street."
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 78)
I'm sure you will find the chitchat of old ladies tedious--it will be all about firming lotions and bulletproof eyeglasses, and the best guns to use when you have arthritis.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels,p, 79)
"Only keep your hat on, and use your parasole, and don't, whatever you do, remove your gloves. Remember the Great Peril, dear". At that phrase, half the company went silent..." Freckles."
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 81)
She had renounced her proud pirate heritage to marry a man whose only crime up until then had been the composition of a novel so bad publishers had him threatened with legal action if he ever submitted to them again.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels,p, 88)
Aunty believes too much education corrupts the delicate mind of young ladies. I received only to basic instruction at home--reading, writing, horse riding, navigation, weapons handling, piano, harp, the principles of burglary, geography, arithmetic, anatomy, metal work, confidence trickery, history, battle tactics, dining etiquette.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels p, 93)
Nothing's impossible if you can pay enough.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels p, 111)
She was smart, strong, and God, just the way she held a gun made his toes curl up in lust.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 135)
"Fine", she said in a sterling British fashion, meaning that she was either fine or on the verge of complete internal catastrophe.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 136)
One can be happy in solitude: a book, a cup of tea, and no company; that was Cecilia's idea of heaven.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 148)
Cecilia was fast for a woman in a long dress and petticoats. She made it down a flight of stairs, along two corridors, past an astonished henchman whose thereafter unconscious body Ned had to leap over as he ran, and partway down the portrait gallery before he caught up with her. "Look, a bookshelf!" he shouted, as she glanced up she stumbled. Her foot caught in the hem of her dress and she fell.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 198)
Please, I don't want to shoot you. It would make kissing you decidedly unpleasant.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels p, 244)
For her, an unanswered knock was equivalent to having to put down a book three pages before the ending.
India Holton (The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, p, 270)
