Patrick hasn't been very motivated about life. Then his mother is found murdered in her apartment with no pants on. They hadn't exactly been in contact for the last two years, and he feels that he owes it to her to solve her murder. His ever-patient girlfriend Lilly supports him in this endeavour. Patrick starts keeping a journal with chapters that track his progress. He writes in big letters CLUES and underneath that he has: blunt force trauma, forced entry, no pants, and voicemail: "I've been thinking a lot about Regulus".
Regulus was an old science fiction show on TV from 1983 to 1987 (think Star Trek or Doctor Who, but with a much smaller budget). His mother has been obsessed with that show for decades, only backing off recently. She was the head of the fan club, wrote the newsletter with a friend named Marvin, and wrote a song to the tune of "Pianoman" about the show, which is sung at their conventions. According to the Wikipedia page, the show is about five criminals who wake up on a prison transport and discover they are heading to the sun Regullus. They find a ship named the Regullus in orbit, and they get on and discover their own skeletons. It's a time-loop show where they go back in time to save themselves, only to die in the process. British actor Roland Yates is the star. Patrick's mother inherited his cricket bat when he died. Which pissed off Marvin, who said that Yates had promised him the bat. That basically broke the friendship between Marvin's and Patrick's mothers.
Lily and Patrick go to the yearly convention for Regulus and meet a true cast of characters, any of whom may be the killer. Patrick goes on an adventure of a lifetime where he learns more about his mother than he ever knew. This is a wickedly smartly written book. Patrick has so much depth to him. I really loved this book and its dark humor. The quotes that I list will show you what I mean. I really can't recommend this book enough.
Quotes
When you get to my age, Patty, it’s not a question of if you’re going to die, but how spectacularly you can go out.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch47)
“When people zink of zer ADHD,” he said,”a picture in zer head is often ze rambunctious boy who terrorizes ze zird-grade classrooms. Who pulls ze pigtails. Runs with ze scissors. Eats ze glue.”
“That’s not me,” I said. “I hate trying new foods.”
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 45)
First you haffta find a doctor who’s qualified to diagnose you. Who’ll take your insurance. Who has appointments open before the next ice age. Do the assessment. Wait. Get the results. And after that you might haffta find a whole other doctor to prescribe medication. The right dosage. Trial and error.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 48)
Believing in someone is not the same as believing that they should do stupid shit. Believing in someone means believing that they’ll stop doing stupid shit eventually.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 23)
And anyway, every drug store I’ve ever been to is basically the same store. Just rearranged to confuse me.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 22)
It’s funny how they treat her. Like an old friend who’s also their God who’s also sometimes invisible.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch16)
The actual words I was using weren’t important. I was just stalling until Lilly's inner prudence kicked in. It was like Lilly’s Prime Directive: Always pee first.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 13)
Honestly, how can anybody time their arrival down to the minute? On New York trains? As far as I’m concerned, just arriving is a victory.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 6)
It’d been so long, I wondered whether I’d forgotten.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch 2)
Sat down next to him on the floor by the recliner, because tables and chairs are just surfaces to to things on.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch35)
My life is just failing until I get lucky.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch48)
I didn't need luck, though. I had science.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly ch52)
Guy answered the door. Grumbly. Messy hair. Hadn't shaved. T-shirt had holes in it. Still in his boxers and apparently fine with that. I get it. Life's a lot.
Drew Melbourne (A Dark Hole Darkly p227)
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